They've started school

foxfamily©teresavillegas Donor conception isn't part of the school curriculum, but at the ages of 5-7 you may want to check in with them when the opportunity arises. Such as what happened one day in our twins' class. As we were driving home from school in the car, they told me that they were talking about all different kinds of families. The teacher had been reading "The Family Book" by Todd Parr. A book our children have read and are familiar with. (I've learned that talking in the car has provided us with many important conversations because it's an intimate space, without the possibility of eye contact.) They told me that one of their classmates was adopted and only had a mommy. "What do you think about that?" was my reply, as is to most things they tell me now a days. They said it made them a little sad because they know that having a mom and a dad is what they know and love best. They were more concerned about their classmate having only one parent than being adopted. Taking this as an opportunity to keep an eye on the "big picture" to express how fortunate it is to be alive, and to have one parent is better than not being alive at all. "If we didn't get help from a donor to have you guys, we would have adopted too. It's interesting how every baby starts out the same, is born, yet every family is different. It's great to be alive isn't it?" If you are just starting to tell your child at the age of 6 or 7, you may want to be a little more prepared ahead of time. Brace yourself for more questions because a child of this age will remember what has been said, and your tone of voice and body language you use, in ways that a much younger child might not. The confidence and comfort level of the parent is the best predictor of a child feeling the same way. If this is the case for you, and your child is older, there is one resource we highly recommend: Donor Conception Network. They have "Telling and Talking" PDF's you can download and study for the best way to approach this according to the age group of your child. Here is the link to their site Donor Conception Network. Have your children come home from school with new information they've learned about families? If so, what was your reply?      

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