First Steps to Telling
As a parent of donor-conceived children I know what it's like to wonder if telling our children early on, say under the age of 5, about their origins is getting across to them, and if so, on what level?
On the emotional level, we can easily tell because we can just feel it. They are either non-plussed, unresponsive, or cheerfully content because we are talking with them, or reading with them or simply just being with them.
According to Britain's Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, if your child or children were conceived as a result of donor assisted conception, telling them about their origins at the right time, doesn't have to be difficult. This is especially true if you talk to your child early about their donor conceived origins.
The first step to disclosure is letting go of your ideal family.
It was already decided pre-birth, that full disclosure of our children's donor assisted origins, was what we were going to do, but –how– were we going to do it was still processing in our minds. Off and on, I would find myself rehearsing in my mind, imagining what we would say, and what words to use and say to our child once they were old enough to comprehend the meaning of "family".
1.) Let Go of Your Genetic Dream Family. You must first let go of any dreams you have had or may still be holding onto about conceiving a child with yours and your partners' genes combined. This is heartbreaking for most couples, and it's normal to experience this grief.