News / parenting after infertility
In honor of RESOLVE.org and their tireless efforts for the last 25 years, we are giving away 7 of our hardcover keepsake children's books to the infertility awareness community! Enter to win here: http://tinyurl.com/kcmvs3e Infertile couples who have to use fertility treatments to get pregnant usually don’t need to go to the extent of using a third party donor – but some do
April 20th-26th, 2014 in the United States, is National Infertility Awareness Week. And to participate in this event, we created an infographic we'd like to share with you titled "Resolve to Know More About Parenting After Infertility." (scroll down to view) Infertile couples who have to use fertility treatments to get pregnant usually don’t need to go to the extent of using a third party donor – but some do, like us. We are the fortunate ones. And this reminds us of the old French saying "Noblesse oblige" which literally translates to imply that with wealth, power, and prestige come responsibilities. A more broadly accepted definition is a general obligation for the more fortunate to help the less fortunate. And as in our case, for those of us who have been there, suffering alongside all the other infertile couples, we understand. However, because we did succeed, and others didn't, we can only understand up to a point. We will never really understand or know the heartbreaking pain of those that didn't succeed. Empathy can only go so far, but awareness goes further, and this is where we can help.
Because of infertility awareness and the advances of Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) the number of donor conceived births are increasing worldwide. The climate for openness on this topic has also been increasing with the number of support groups and networks for parents and their children (i.e.RESOLVE.org and Donor Sibling Registry, and Donor Conception Network UK). Parents of donor conceived children are not alone, and talking about it and sharing awareness about it with your family, friends and most importantly your child could clearly be considered an "oblige."
According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) approximately 12% of fertility patients use donor eggs and embryos. And an estimated 30,000-60,000 children born in this country via artificial insemination are from donor sperm. Those are only two of the findings included in our new infographic. (see below, and share) This infographic advocates the importance for parents to tell their donor conceived children about their unique beginnings. Parents who used an egg donor, or a sperm donor go through quite a different process in order to conceive, but are similar in that one of the child’s parents is not genetically related. This is where the crux of disclosure becomes important. Factual genetic information is something you want your child(ren) to be aware of. Not just for physical appearance and medical reasons, but also as an opportunity for parents to present “honesty and trust” early on as the foundation of their own family culture.
When a child is conceived this way, parents must decide whether to tell their child or keep this information private. This may be a difficult choice to make for various reasons and sometimes parents do not know where to begin. Parents may ask “why” and “how” and “when?” At first, the thought of telling your child about their donor origins may seem like a difficult topic to broach, but it doesn’t have to be. In our experience raising our own donor conceived children, along with research, data and inquiry from professional family psychologists have all concluded, that telling your child about their genetic origins at an early age, is best for the child.
That is what inspired us to write and illustrate our own children’s book “How We Became a Family” (for ages 2-10). We wanted to write a book that we could read to our children that included the facts of nature, science, the help of a donor and the possibility of a multiple birth. And we want to help you, other parents like us, who have struggled with infertility to struggle less, and to be at ease with telling your child early on, one step at a time. Our children’s book “How We Became a Family” is a tool that helps parents begin the process of telling in an easy way.”