Tell Your Child With Ease; read them this book
When we first learned that we would need reproductive medicine (IVF) and donor assistance for us to create the family we had always wanted, we knew that this was not going to be an easy story to tell our future children. We knew we wanted to, but how and when? After 9 years of researching, reading, consulting with psychologists, embryologists, other parents, and discussing with our own children, we’ve found a way.
We are a family that loves books. So, naturally we looked for a children’s picture book that could help us explain to our children various ways that families are created. All the existing children’s books we found on building a family with third-party assistance, had something missing that we really felt needed to be included –facts, science, and the possibility of a multiple birth. We wanted to tell our children about how families begin with a strong and loving relationship. And then to grow our family to include them, we needed science and the help of others.
We are a family that loves physiology and how the body works. Bernard is a Physician, Teresa is an Artist/Illustrator and a certified Hatha Yoga Instructor. We want our children to know the correct terms used to describe their body parts from an early age. We want them to be proud of their bodies, to love their bodies, to have a healthy respect and relationship with their bodies and to know how incredibly amazing and intelligent our bodies are.
We are a family of science and art. If we didn’t have science, we wouldn’t have the deep understanding of the physical world we live in, or the family we have today. Science helps us with understanding and interpreting the life around us and the arts help us to understand and interpret the life within us.
Gratitude and appreciation is a huge part of our family culture that extends to everything we give and receive in our lives. Our gratitude and appreciation extends to the donors who helped us build our family. Donors -all kinds of donors, are people who give of themselves to help others live.
And so we decided to write and illustrate the book that we wanted to read to our children. It is our hope that this book will help other parents, like us, begin the conversation, with ease and comfort by simply reading with their children.
First of all you need love. But how do you talk with your children about their in vitro origins? How do you tell your children they were conceived with the help of a donor?
• Adding children to a family -making a baby- takes all the same parts needed to make any baby animal.
• Knowledge of science and our bodies is a smart and beautiful thing.
• This complex story is explained in an easy and positive way that children can accept and be proud of.
This book is for couples who understand that their children’s well-being comes from knowing how much they are wanted, who they are, and how they came into this world and into their family. Celebrating the story of your child’s origins through the simple act of reading can reinforce your family’s journey of deep bonding and open communication.
Watch the book trailer movie:
What Professionals Are Saying
“Excellent book for both parents and their children who are related to in vitro fertilization process and donor program. This book is not only filled with science, but also love.”
— Dr. Jun Tao PHD, HCLD Embryologist
“These books are beautiful and are a wonderful resource for donor conceived families. Parents and their children will benefit tremendously.”
— Dr. Madeline Licker Feingold, Ph.D. Psychotherapist and Reproductive Counselor
“It explains assisted reproduction in spare, restrained language that allows plenty of leeway for parents to deliver their own messages, and it also preserves the beauty and magic of a child’s birth…. an elegant explanation that most children will grasp easily” — Kirkus Review
“The HOW WE BECAME A FAMILY series is an important new tool to help parents build the language for explaining how their families came to be. Most importantly, each book emphasizes the loving, intentional process parents have gone through to make families that include children.”
— Stephen Lee and Susan Czark, parents of donor conceived twins USA and filmmakers of “An Extended Family”–A documentary about family, re-imagined
What Parents Are Saying
“One of the many things I love about this book, is that it emphasizes from the very beginning, that it takes a strong foundation — a “family of two” to build a family with children. It takes a strong duo, to go through the rigors of IVF, and a strong love to stay open with conversations about donor conception.
— Fermina Marquez, mother of egg donor-twins
“This book supports traditional storytelling with the combination of linear language in the sequential text, and symbolic language in the illustrations. A children’s book like this may at first seem “too advanced” for 3 year olds, but the illustrations have a poetic sweetness that allows the reader to be specific if need be, or as light and minimal as need be. This is a beautifully illustrated and well thought out story for all ages.”
— John Bjornson, father of sperm donor-twins
“You are to be commended for synthesizing a tremendous amount of information and presenting it in a very simplified, clear way for children to understand. Your illustrations, the subtle humor, facts and cheerful tone of the story, ensures that this book will be well-utilized in our family. . . I feel that your book (and your blog) has given me so much ease and valuable information, presented in a very enjoyable manner. I highly recommend your book and blog to parents who are looking to bring love, comfort and openness to their parenting efforts.
— Michelle Richardson, mother
Each book: Full Color, 8″x 8″, High Quality Hardcover, Children’s Picture Book with matte varnish cover, 32 pages, Ages 2-10
The How We Became a Family series uses clear, nurturing text and sophisticated yet relatable illustrations to explain how parents had help creating their family and how that made their children all the more wanted and loved.
There are four customized versions. Two versions are for families whose children were conceived with an egg donor, resulting in either a single child, or twins. Two other versions are for families whose children were conceived with a sperm donor, resulting in either a single child, or twins. Each book is a beautiful keepsake with a special page where each child’s name and birth information can be inscribed.
The interior pages are printed on uncoated heavyweight paper (like the Dr. Seuss books) for ease of writing in and documenting this personalized information.
Interior pages preview
The ability to personalize this page is what makes this a keepsake book.
(The example above is from the twins version page)
It takes 3 parts to make a baby 1.) an egg 2.) a seed (called sperm)
3.) a nest (called a uterus)
Lastly, they needed 3 parts to make a baby. He explained that all baby animals require these same three parts. Seeds: called “sperm”, come from males. Eggs: come from females. A nest: is a safe, nurturing place for the baby to grow. In humans, this nest is called a “uterus,”
which is an internal part of the female body.
Above page from the egg donor version.
Sperm donors and egg donors are people who help other people build families.
Singleton Versions coming May 2014!
E Books: Kindle and IPad coming soon
(More third-party family building versions using Embryo Donor, Gestational Carrier,
Same Sex Parents, Single Parents, are all possible future versions, depending upon the demand. Be sure to let us know what you want by clicking the “Yes! Please notify me” button below)
These books might not be for you if:
You are a single parent, same sex couple, have used an embryo donor and/or a surrogate gestational carrier. We know there are many families built in a variety of assisted ways and we’d really like to help you. If our books aren’t for you, that’s okay because there are more children’s books that might be a better match for youf family here: booksfordonoroffspring.blogspot.com